Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconmattvoscinar: More from MattVoscinar


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
July 22, 2012
File Size
186 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,036 (1 today)
Favourites
51 (who?)
Comments
44
Downloads
5
×
How long did you think
we could pound our vocabulary with hammers
before it fell flat?
A poem about poetry inspired by a night of reading poems that sounded exactly the same.

You can find the DLD here: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconshehrozeameen:
This particular masterpiece speaks out about more than just the poetic disarray of the litrary society and world in general - it is the embodiment of how the detritus of our communities are becoming the essence controlling what we read and what we are made to comprehend. In essence, this poetic three line composition speaks about the lack of ideas spoken out in the process of writing about (ironically enough) ideas themselves.

It would, nevertheless, justify why the same idea is now (horrifically) perched out in a drone frame composition that will only lead to further detriment making their way towards achieving these purposes.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconglossolalias:
I'm certain that just about everyone has had complaints about the originality of writing, as well as the death writing faces when it stops being genuine and is formulated purely to impress. These are not new ideas, but I find it fascinating when they are presented in this concise yet poetic format: your vision for this was absolutely astounding and the impact is breathless.

Where most of the issue lies with this poem is the technique; I love your word choice, and I like the idea of single image, but the cadence just feels off, and honestly, I am going to suggest the omission of "with hammers." Don't get me wrong, it's powerful, but the poem would be more powerful without it, because the pounding isn't something physical: it's ethereal and raw and that's what's so beautiful about it. While I do understand the use of metaphor, I don't think it was entirely successful here, and it certainly isn't necessary. If you take out hammers, it leaves the reader to fill in their own blank, and that makes it more personal, more profound than it already is.

Otherwise, I must say, I really enjoy this. Masterful and precise, it really left me thinking, and what more could you ask of a poem?
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconlittlemoonboots:
beautiful, dear :heart: so simple but i can relate
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you, Silver. Being featured by you feels wonderful!
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icondovethunder:
Congratulations on the DLD! :glomp:
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Nov 6, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:icondovethunder:
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconria-j:
Ria-J Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The title is amazing and the poem itself says so much in a few words. Love it.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Nov 5, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
congratulations on the DLD and Pick of the Day!
Reply
Add a Comment: