This particular masterpiece speaks out about more than just the poetic disarray of the litrary society and world in general - it is the embodiment of how the detritus of our communities are becoming the essence controlling what we read and what we are made to comprehend. In essence, this poetic three line composition speaks about the lack of ideas spoken out in the process of writing about (ironically enough) ideas themselves.
It would, nevertheless, justify why the same idea is now (horrifically) perched out in a drone frame composition that will only lead to further detriment making their way towards achieving these purposes.
I'm certain that just about everyone has had complaints about the originality of writing, as well as the death writing faces when it stops being genuine and is formulated purely to impress. These are not new ideas, but I find it fascinating when they are presented in this concise yet poetic format: your vision for this was absolutely astounding and the impact is breathless.
Where most of the issue lies with this poem is the technique; I love your word choice, and I like the idea of single image, but the cadence just feels off, and honestly, I am going to suggest the omission of "with hammers." Don't get me wrong, it's powerful, but the poem would be more powerful without it, because the pounding isn't something physical: it's ethereal and raw and that's what's so beautiful about it. While I do understand the use of metaphor, I don't think it was entirely successful here, and it certainly isn't necessary. If you take out hammers, it leaves the reader to fill in their own blank, and that makes it more personal, more profound than it already is.
Otherwise, I must say, I really enjoy this. Masterful and precise, it really left me thinking, and what more could you ask of a poem?
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) and has been selected as our “Pick of the Day”. It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.
I love this, but I think the title really takes the crown here. Just makes one think of all the ways you could do with words in a workshop, if they were tangible, and it's really inspiring. I can totally imagine generic poems being the result from pouring slightly different words into the same mould.
I'm currently going through stacks and stacks of poetry, most of it quite useless. You captured the feeling very cleanly. I'm really beginning to like poems that are small- just a few words. I think I'll try some.
I really like this. It goes along well with your comment signature too, and with all the secret fears I have about my own writing - that the language is not good enough. That the metaphor has already rolled over and gone to sleep, tail tucked, eyelids still. That no matter how hard we really try, some day there will be nothing left.
Amen to that. I don't know if it was the shortness of the poem or the smack in the face that it gave me, but you made me read this again, and again, slowly, and slower and slower... It also made me think. Quite deeply. And to be honest (not saying saying your poem backfired), I began to wonder how many poems have been written before that sounds like this as well?
Done before or done anew or totally newly-conceived: you've proved a brilliant point, sir.
I'm not sure that I would use the term laziness. There are a lot of variables that I've seen that encourage the use of cliches and the sort. I think the biggest thing, however, is that readers are familiar with these types of phrases and praise writers who use them. I also feel that the idea of being "nice" plays heavily into the equation. However, I realize that every writer (including myself) is guilty of doing this at some point.
I've noticed that through my education (I have a BA in creative writing so I had to take part in quite a few workshops) and here on Deviantart people are afraid to give constructive criticism and tell people something doesn't work because they feel they are being "mean" or "unfair" because the writer put work into their piece and it might make them feel bad.
I find that the harsher the criticism (within reason) the more I am able to address the problems in my own work. I still remember a critique I got when I was fifteen because it was so nasty it made me want to quit writing at the time.
Looking back, it only made me better, but I see what you mean. I feel like sometimes I can be harsh because I feel that writers should have thick skin if they want to submit their work to the world. I try to be reasonable though XD