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How long did you think
we could pound our vocabulary with hammers
before it fell flat?
A poem about poetry inspired by a night of reading poems that sounded exactly the same.

You can find the DLD here: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconshehrozeameen:
This particular masterpiece speaks out about more than just the poetic disarray of the litrary society and world in general - it is the embodiment of how the detritus of our communities are becoming the essence controlling what we read and what we are made to comprehend. In essence, this poetic three line composition speaks about the lack of ideas spoken out in the process of writing about (ironically enough) ideas themselves.

It would, nevertheless, justify why the same idea is now (horrifically) perched out in a drone frame composition that will only lead to further detriment making their way towards achieving these purposes.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconglossolalias:
I'm certain that just about everyone has had complaints about the originality of writing, as well as the death writing faces when it stops being genuine and is formulated purely to impress. These are not new ideas, but I find it fascinating when they are presented in this concise yet poetic format: your vision for this was absolutely astounding and the impact is breathless.

Where most of the issue lies with this poem is the technique; I love your word choice, and I like the idea of single image, but the cadence just feels off, and honestly, I am going to suggest the omission of "with hammers." Don't get me wrong, it's powerful, but the poem would be more powerful without it, because the pounding isn't something physical: it's ethereal and raw and that's what's so beautiful about it. While I do understand the use of metaphor, I don't think it was entirely successful here, and it certainly isn't necessary. If you take out hammers, it leaves the reader to fill in their own blank, and that makes it more personal, more profound than it already is.

Otherwise, I must say, I really enjoy this. Masterful and precise, it really left me thinking, and what more could you ask of a poem?
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconthat1personyouforgot:
That1PersonYouForgot Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, this is wonderful :heart: I can relate, but in a different way- I think more of two people talking who have a way with words :)
Reply
:iconlittlemoonboots:
littlemoonboots Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013
beautiful, dear :heart: so simple but i can relate
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you, Silver. Being featured by you feels wonderful!
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:icondovethunder:
DoveThunder Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Congratulations on the DLD! :glomp:
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:icondovethunder:
DoveThunder Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconria-j:
Ria-J Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The title is amazing and the poem itself says so much in a few words. Love it.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
congratulations on the DLD and Pick of the Day!
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Student Writer
<3 thank you. I cannot BELIEVE IT
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) and has been selected as our “Pick of the Day”. It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012
So very true.
Reply
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This has been featured in my journal!

[link]
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you very much!It's awesome to see my work grouped with more awesome literature.
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2012  Student Writer
You have been featured here.
Reply
:iconwhitetiger807:
Whitetiger807 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So true. You put it very well! :)
Reply
:iconvictimofyfd:
VictimofYFD Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012  Student Writer
I love this, but I think the title really takes the crown here. Just makes one think of all the ways you could do with words in a workshop, if they were tangible, and it's really inspiring. I can totally imagine generic poems being the result from pouring slightly different words into the same mould.
Reply
:iconqueshy:
Queshy Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012   Writer
Short, simple, clear and concise. Perfect.

*favorites*
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you!!
Reply
:iconqueshy:
Queshy Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012   Writer
Of course!
Reply
:icondovethunder:
DoveThunder Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012
I'm currently going through stacks and stacks of poetry, most of it quite useless. You captured the feeling very cleanly. I'm really beginning to like poems that are small- just a few words. I think I'll try some. :)
Reply
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Short and sweet! and such a great message.
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
oh how I fear this.

very well stated.
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Student Writer
I really like this. It goes along well with your comment signature too, and with all the secret fears I have about my own writing - that the language is not good enough. That the metaphor has already rolled over and gone to sleep, tail tucked, eyelids still. That no matter how hard we really try, some day there will be nothing left.

Brilliant. I love this.
Reply
:iconbirdkiller:
Birdkiller Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Professional Writer
Who were you reading?
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
Just random poems all over. No one in particular.
Reply
:iconbirdkiller:
Birdkiller Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Professional Writer
Any particular group? I need to know! I need to know what NOT to do.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
I believe at that time I was perusing through a bunch of groups that I don't remember the names of as well as "most popular" for short periods of time (8-24 hours).
Reply
:iconbirdkiller:
Birdkiller Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Will you read some of my poetry and tell me what's wrong with it?
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2012  Student Writer
If I find something wrong with it, sure.
Reply
:icontawneyk:
TawneyK Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
Amen to that.
I don't know if it was the shortness of the poem or the smack in the face that it gave me, but you made me read this again, and again, slowly, and slower and slower...
It also made me think. Quite deeply. And to be honest (not saying saying your poem backfired), I began to wonder how many poems have been written before that sounds like this as well?

Done before or done anew or totally newly-conceived: you've proved a brilliant point, sir. :salute:
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
I'm sure plenty have ;)

It makes me very happy that you feel that way about the poem. Thank you so much!
Reply
:icontawneyk:
TawneyK Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
No prob, man =)
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
:shrug: In a world that is over 3000 years old, how long could new things be invented...that takes time, effort, and brilliance that quite frankly many are too lazy to give.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
I'm not sure that I would use the term laziness. There are a lot of variables that I've seen that encourage the use of cliches and the sort. I think the biggest thing, however, is that readers are familiar with these types of phrases and praise writers who use them. I also feel that the idea of being "nice" plays heavily into the equation. However, I realize that every writer (including myself) is guilty of doing this at some point.
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
I didn't mean lazy in a bad way and yes cliches make the world go round :shrug: I can't say I blame writers or artists for using them, after all I do it myself. What do you mean being nice?
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
I've noticed that through my education (I have a BA in creative writing so I had to take part in quite a few workshops) and here on Deviantart people are afraid to give constructive criticism and tell people something doesn't work because they feel they are being "mean" or "unfair" because the writer put work into their piece and it might make them feel bad.
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
Hm, true... I have to agree with you there. But then you have the people who are overwhelmingly harsh and just stifle creativity.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
I find that the harsher the criticism (within reason) the more I am able to address the problems in my own work. I still remember a critique I got when I was fifteen because it was so nasty it made me want to quit writing at the time.

Looking back, it only made me better, but I see what you mean. I feel like sometimes I can be harsh because I feel that writers should have thick skin if they want to submit their work to the world. I try to be reasonable though XD
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
LightOverpowers58 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
Hm, I guess that is true...
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So many people say exactly the same thing, and think it's new.
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
haha, brilliant.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Student Writer
Why thank you, that means a lot.
Reply
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